Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Christmas flew by once again. It was kind of uneventful with my not being able to travel this year. I was kind of bummed, but still hoping that my rest will pay off with the placenta moving. My next ultrasound is scheduled for January 26th which is exactly 24 weeks. I'm having a really hard time with not being able to do things I want to do...really really hard! I'm actually looking forward to going back to school just so I can move around some more!!
Joel had a ton of presents and he loved them all. It took a while for him to open them all because he wanted to stop and play with all of them after opening them!
Today I found a cute sleeper for the next baby boy...Joel only had one newborn outfit...the one he wore home and then he was too big, so I figured with this one probably being earlier that he might need something smaller!
Justin's b-day is on Saturday, so I'm trying to figure out what to do to surprise him for his 28th! We are all getting old!!
Here are some pictures of our festivities:

It's a....

First news first....It's a BOY! Despite the fact that everyone thought that I was having a girl...I knew it was a boy and I was right! Justin is one of 3 boys, so I have always expected boys!
The next news isn't quite as happy. I have Placenta Previa. This means that my placenta is covering the birth canal....completely. Although it is still early and it could possibly move (my ultimate prayer), it will most likely mean some bed rest and a c-section at about 36 weeks. It also means pelvic rest right now which is in a nutshell: no sex, no exercise, and no lifting Joel for the rest of my pregnancy. I will have another sono at 24 weeks to see if the placenta has moved at all or if it is still there and we'll make more plans from there. Mostly, I just don't want to go on bed rest. First of all, it scares me. I have heard too many stories of blood clots and embolisms for people who were on bed rest. But most of all, I can't imagine what that would be like for Joel. I know that once this baby gets here I will love him just as much, but right now, I would give my life and my left tooth for him. And this whole thing is rather scary to me. So please...pray that the placenta will move and that both the baby and I will be healthy.
Finally, here are some long awaited birthday pics. Hard to believe that 2 years ago, God gave me the most amazing gift in a happy, healthy, intelligent boy.
I love you JOEL!

The Countdown Begins

I know I need to post 2nd Birthday pics of Joel...and I will do that soon...Monday is the day we find out what the next little one looks like and will be. I'm just praying for a healthy baby. It really scares me since we had some friends go to this ultrasound and find their baby had died. I know, morbid, but still makes me realize even more what a gift Joel is.
Yesterday, one of our friends got married. It was probably the most awful wedding ever. Why? You ask? Well, because two days before the wedding the mother and sister in law and the groom got the flu....and then came the wedding day and guess who got the flu? The bride. I felt awful for her. They didn't get any pictures and didn't get to cut the cake and she had to leave in the middle of the ceremony to...well, you know. This is one of those times that you do the renewing the vows thing a year later....or at least maybe a few months later...after flu season. I hope they have a great honeymoon. She was feeling better today and so they left on their honeymoon as planned. They deserve the best....and some really nice presents.
I will post soon...with pics and news!!

The Flu and bumps on the head

My Favorite of our recent family pics....right around the time of my morning sickness starting.....
Why is it that when you just get over morning sickness and being very used to throwing up, that you have to turn around and greet the flu. I am home today, and did not get much sleep last night due to throwing up 3 times. Seriously, I appreciate the help in not gaining weight but I'd like to be able to enjoy my food for once.
On a better note, we are leaving for St. Louis tomorrow (or maybe tonight...Justin is very anxious to get there) to spend Thanksgiving with the Williams' side of the family. I'm very excited for all of us to get to be together...it's been a few years. To mark the occasion, this weekend we put up our Christmas tree and all our decorations. We put up our lovely stockings with their stocking holders and just as we were discussing whether or not we should leave them there, Joel pulled one down on his head. We spent Saturday morning in Urgent Care, where they were wonderful by the way. They gave him some liquid stitches (Dermabond) and sent us on our way. He was fine the rest of the day, running around like normal. I'm afraid that isn't going to be the last of our trips to Urgent Care...oh, he is all boy!
So I'm hoping that my trip to the doctor today for this flu or whatever will be the last of my excitement for a while.

Sad Day

Today was a very sad day. It started out with some of my coworkers and I going to our Title 1 Teacher Janine's boyfriend's funeral in Lawrence. He was 30 years old and just died Saturday without warning....the day after he and Janine had decided exactly when and how they were going to get married. She is my age (29) and we were both at K-State at the same time, so although I have only known her since I started working at Ridgeview, I feel a bond with her. She and her boyfriend had been living together for 2 years but since they weren't married there are no legal ties now. His family has not been great to her either and that has made things even harder. The funeral was very nice, though and Janine did an amazing job of sharing about her love for Craig. I sobbed.
So then I went back to school where the counselor had decided to tell the 6th grade students and was having them making cards for Janine. I took a minute to check my e-mail and noticed one from Justin that said that one of his co-workers who was due about 3 weeks before us had miscarried and that they were at the hospital. Again, my heart sunk. She was 17-18 weeks pregnant and would have been able to find out what she was having in just a week.
My heart is just so sad. It is these times when I truly long for heaven, where there will be no more pain or heartbreak or worry. When we truly can exchange our ashes for beauty.......

Isaiah 61

The Year of the LORD's Favor

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners, ^[a]

2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.

New Baby!

This week I finally hit 12 weeks so I have been telling all of our friends and coworkers the good news that we are pregnant again! It's so funny the difference in the 2nd time around. First of all, all that hard work in getting down below pre-pregnancy weight seems to go away when you pop out at like 8 weeks! Seriously, I am having to wear some pregnancy things already. Last week, I was having to be pretty creative to hide my bump and luckily the weather cooperated and it was cold so I could layer. Secondly, it is really hard to get attached to the idea of a baby, when I already have such a wonderful baby here in the flesh. Not that I'm not excited....I am thrilled...it's just that I can't imagine loving anything more than Joel. And I know that when that baby gets here I will, but right now, it's still hard to imagine. I can't wait to find out whether it is a boy or girl and to know it's own personality the way I know Joel's. The best thing though is to be able to give Joel something that I can never provide for him....a friend. I have always felt so lucky that Ben, Michelle, and I were so close in age and that we always had someone to do things with. I can't wait to have that for Joel.
Halloween was fun. Joel was a dinosaur and almost tuckered out while he was trick or treating. He was so tired. Seems that candy affects him the way it affects his mom. I'll post pictures of that soon. He was the cutest little dinosaur!

Immaturity on Facebook

Some people just never seem to be able to grow up. I experienced this this week with a friend of ours who got mad at something I said that he interpreted completely wrong. Something I said 3 months ago. And instead of talking to me about it and trying to work it out, what did he do? He took Justin and I off his facebook friends!!! And supposedly the only way that he will put us back on is if I initiate a discussion with an apology. Well, I have only experienced this kind of immaturity one place...where, you ask?? With my 6th graders!! Oh yeah, and maybe in junior high. Seriously, I have enough big things to worry about!!! So, the news is that now I have 125 friends instead of 126. Oh, well.

Conferences

I hate conferences. I love talking to children; their parents are not my cup of tea. But the worst part is that the Olathe School District decided this year to make those teachers who are parents suffer even more! How, you ask? Well, the conference times used to be Thursday, teachers came in late at noon and worked conferences til 8:00 p.m. Then Friday morning, we got up early and worked 7 a.m to noon. You were also allowed to use 2 hours on Friday as flex time, meaning that if I did a few conferences after school on Tuesday and Wednesday, I could leave by 10:00 on Friday! Sounds pretty good, right? Well, Olathe decided that this didn't accommodate most parents and so we worked all day yesterday ( a regular day with kids) and then did conferences from 4:30-8:30. And today we have to go in at 11 and work til 8:00. The good part is that we get all day off on Friday...right? Well, that works if you don't have children and don't care if you see them at all two nights in a row!!!
I do realize that parents take weekends away from their children....but I've just not ever been able to. I think maybe when he is a little older, I'd be okay with him staying with grandparents for a weekend. But for now, he's my baby and I miss him a lot. I cried yesterday when I got to school because it made me so sad to think that I wouldn't see him until almost 9! I know...I thought the days of crying when I went back to work after maternity leave were over.....but no. I still miss our summer time together. I'm not saying I want to be a stay at home mom, but I am saying that anyone who stands in the way of my time with my child better watch out....I get cranky! Wouldn't you miss this face?

Know it alls and Frustrations

I love my new school...I really do. But at every school there are always those that seem to know everything and make it their point to show you that you know nothing. We have reading groups for an hour and I had mentioned to one of our reading specialists that I did not have the para that I had been assigned and so I was a bit overwhelmed with trying to work with my 3 small groups while 8 or 9 kids were in my room supposed to be reading independently. It wouldn't seem like such a big deal, except that the 5th grade teachers only have 1 group of 5 kids and have no kids reading independently. I just thought we could spread them out a little. But evidently I am wrong. So I will be doing my best this next week to just keep quiet and hope that eventually one of them will come in my room and have an "OH!" moment and get me some help. In the meantime, I will be working my butt off to write back 20 or so kids in their reading journals. So much for my excitement over my 15!
On another note, last night I hung out with about 10 of the teachers from my new school. It was a lot of fun and I am so blessed to work with such a great group of teachers. It was great to hear how everyone had frustrations just like mine. There are some of us with kids, and some who are just trying to have kids, and some that aren't in that realm at all yet. One of the teachers shared about how in the last 2 years that she had lost 2 babies. Evidentally she has a very rare autoimmune disorder that causes her body to attack the baby in utero. She lost her first at 32 weeks and the second at 24 weeks after trying some new medications that were designed to help her. She is currently seeing a specialist in Chicago who is trying to find a way to stop her body from attacking the fetus, but they haven't found one yet. My heart hurt for her. I can't imagine how much it would hurt to lose one at so far along, yet alone two. It makes me feel so incredibly blessed to have a healthy child at home. Please keep Karen in your thoughts and prayers.

Not Your Job

Okay, so I don't really have all this time on my hands but I'm getting ready for bed and I just happened to read this on a friend's blog: She said: "‘it’s so hard to raise well-balanced, well-rounded, well-adjusted, stable kids.’ And what he said (the pastor of her church) back was so good. He said, “well that’s not your job.” It stunned me for a second, because it TOTALLY feels like my job. He continued with, “…that God’s job. Your job is to love them.” That was so freeing to hear. I’m not sure if he understood how good that was for me. Despite my parenting inadequacies God will still parent them. Thank goodness. I guess that keeps us all humble in a way. We can’t take all the credit for how great of parents we are/were OR how bad of parents we were."

I just felt like I should share that....I have felt like it's my fault that the whole biting thing happened, like if I was staying home with him that it wouldn't have happened or if I wasn't so stressed out with school and trying to get pregnant again that he wouldn't have had any problems. But the truth is, no matter what we do, our kids are going to make mistakes and do great things too but it's not because of how great or not so great of parents we are...my job is to Love Joel and teach him about God. That's it. That is really freeing.
And I do love him....so so so much.

A Call to Prayer

Just a little updating first: Joel is at his old daycare (where he was last year, her name is Sherri) again (read Justin's blog for more info) and I am thankful. She is awesome and I would have never have left her in the first place had Hollie not been a) cheaper and b) closer. I am sad and I was kind of hurt that she didn't wait it out a little longer, but the good thing is that he is comfortable with Sherri and he is once again with older kids and one new baby who is 3 months old. I figure that since he acts and looks older that it works better and well, the baby is just good for him to get used to (not pregnant yet, for all of you wondering). He has not tried to bite anyone since he left Hollie's on Friday, so I think we weren't so much in a stage, but maybe just didn't get along with the little boy or maybe it was just a bad fit altogether.

Anyway, the one thing I was reminded of while stressing over this situation and over crying all week about it is that I need to pray for Joel more. All parents want their children to be perfect and even though he pretty much is, he still needs prayer. And he will need it just as much now as in 5 years or 10 years. I think sometimes we feel secure and think that things are going okay, so we just glide along for awhile and then when something goes wrong, BAM! we hit our knees as fast as we can. I am so guilty of this and while that is one thing for me to do that, Joel needs my intercession. Right now he prays with us before bed and before meals, but to really pray and ask God to meet his needs...well, that's my job. So it's been my goal to pray more this week, not just for me, but for Joel and his needs right now and in the future.

The Biting

This week Joel has been biting another child at daycare. 3 times! He bit another child last year around this same time, when he was teething with his 1 year old molars twice. And of course, then, like now, I feared that he would get kicked out of daycare and not grow out of it. But now, what really bothers me is that he knows that biting isn't okay. He will walk around after he's bitten the poor kid and say "NO Biting" and he says "Biting is bad". I'm not really sure what to do. He never bites at home or at church or with our friend's kids. And he has kept it solely to one child at daycare. The one child at daycare whose parents we just happen to be friends with, of course. Joel is much bigger than the other little boy and the child isn't quite mobile yet, whereas Joel resembles a 3 year old. So now I am the teacher with the kid whose parents are called in to figure out what to do. I'm so upset. What do I do? I have a child who knows his alphabet, his colors, and his shapes at 20 months but who is a bully!? Oh, no. Any ideas? Please!!! Look at all these teeth!!

Back to School

School hasn't even started yet and I am worn out already! So much to do, so little time, and it still feels like summer outside so who wants to be inside?? So here are some pictures that take me back to summer...I miss you summer.

The Good Life

Ahh, we are back at home in KC. I love my home. I love my friends and I have missed them. Lots of updates..First of all, Joel is sleeping in his new big boy bed (pictures will follow) and second, we bought a new camera to replace our broken one. Thirdly, I go back to work next week. While I love teaching and I am so excited to teach with my good friend Liz this year, I am sad to not be spending every minute with Joel. He has been so much fun this summer. The time just went so fast. Here are my favorite things about this summer with Joel:
1. "Mommy, I poopy"
2. Eating "snak" with Joel at the table with both of us in "big char"
3. Watching Joel climb up the big slide at the park
4. Cuddling on the couch watching Blues Clues in the early morning, learning our shapes and colors
5. Coloring with markers and watching Joel color on his "niples" (he just discovered them one day)
6. Swimming...so cute..Joel actually lays down in the shallow water and pushes himself around with his hands and screams "I swimming"
7. Taking walks and having Joel point out birdies (by the way, he no longer calls them "boobies')
8. Impressing people at restauraunts with his knowledge of his alphabet
9. singing and swinging
10. Hearing Joel say "Jesus loves me" for the first time

Ah, Life is Good.

Be Patient

Joel doesn't like to wait, so I will say "be" and then he'll say "patient" when I am trying to get him his food or when we are checking out at the grocery store and he is wailing that he "needs it", whatever it may be a chip, a toy, etc. The thing that hit me today is that I am not much more patient than Joel is when it comes to what I want.

We are ending our time here in Hays in a few days. Our time here has been great, but I really miss home. It is weird to think that we won't have cause to come back here for a while. I definitely won't miss the greenish brown carpet or sharing a room with Joel, but I have been so grateful for this opportunity. We have met such wonderful people and we have grown to truly love them. I can't express how much I feel that God was totally in this process of Justin getting his masters. The way that it worked out to be able to live in the old parsonage for the cost of utilities for not one, but two summers is amazing. They have been trying to sell the old parsonage, but it hasn't sold yet. My conclusion has been this: God's timing is at work. He planned this, knowing how hard it would have been for either Justin and I to be apart or for us to financially afford to live here in Campus housing (about $750 a month) on top of our morgage. This whole two summer experience has helped me to see even more how God will provide....in his time. So I'm going to try to "beeeee patient" with all of the things that I feel like I "need".

Colossians 1:10-12: " And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light."

Naptime Nightmare

About the time we arrived in Hays, Joel learned how to climb out of his pack-n-play. Lovely. Since that day, naptime has been a nightmare. He pops out of there as soon as I close the door and comes padding down the hallway saying "need milk" or "I hungry" or anything else that he sees as a way to keep from the inevitable, me putting him back in bed. I need a nap by the time I get him down for one! Bedtime is not quite as bad....he usually gets up a time or 2 and then he's happy to at least read in his bed until he falls asleep. My plan is to move him into a big boy bed when we get back to KC, but since he will still probably nap in a play pen at daycare, I still want him to understand that he needs to nap. Kids don't give up their naps until much older, right? He used to be such a good napper! I miss those days! Ah, well. Anyway, I found this great bedroom set from Target for his new "big boy room". I'm moving him downstairs too (this will prevent my nightmares). Here it is, perfect for my little monkey:

Subsisting on the alms of Others

This was part of what I read yesterday in Beth Moore's Jesus, the One and Only:
"God created us to need something or someone else. Sooner or later, any healthy individual discovers that autonomy doesn't cut it. Once we confront our need for someone or something beyond ourselves, we will subsist on the alms of others if we don't discover Christ. Like beggars we go from person to person with our empty cup, crying "Can't you add anything to my life". They might throw in a coin or two...but when we shake the cup, the tinny echo reminds us how empty we remain. Until we allow Jesus to fill our cups daily, we simply subsist. The good news Christ may want to preach to you today is that you don't have to subsist. You were meant to thrive. Sooner or later, God will make sure we confront the poverty of living on the alms of others so that we may learn to feast on Him."
I loved it...and I feel like it was a great reminder for me, here in Hays, away from all my beloved friends....that I can use the time to feast on Him. Autonomy does not cut it for me...I need people. I fill up on interaction...the story of an extrovert. I have made a few new friends here this year along with the few that we made last year from church. Most of them are moms of kids around Joel's age that we meet at the at the park or the pool. I always feel bad when I tell them that I'm only here for the summer. I feel like its a "sorry, we can only be friends for a little while". But yesterday in reading Beth's book, I was reminded that even if it was only for a short while, if I can show them Christ in the time we have together, then maybe their cup will be a little fuller.

Bragging Rights

Today Joel sang parts of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, Row, Row Your Boat, and the alphabet song for me. It was so cute. I love how many things he is learning right now and I can't help but tell everyone around. I don't mean to brag...I'm just excited!
Here are a few of the other things Joel is doing now along with working on his singing: Can say his full name (Joel Swain Williams) and tell you how old he is (and says 1 now despite the fact that he used to tell you he was 2), Knows 14 letters of the alphabet, knows numbers 1-10 and can count things, says sentences (some of his favorites are "Swing with friends" and "Help me please" and "I need cookie"), can climb out of his bed (which makes bedtime and naptime a game of popcorn), can swing on the big kid swing and my personal favorite thing he can do now is that he can not only go down the tunnel slide at the park but he can climb up it as well (thanks to the 4 year old friends we met at the park). There are lots more things but those are the ones that he does that impress me the most! I have to say that 19 months is a great age! Oh, I will be sad when school starts...I will really miss our fun times this summer.

Sleepy

Staying up til midnight and getting up with a toddler in the morning do not mix. I just took a 2 hour nap while Justin took Joel to the playground. Seriously, I'm old. Just exactly what age is it that your body just shuts down and says "we're sorry, no more staying up late and functioning"? Don't get me wrong, I love sleep and I love my life....I just wish I had energy to do more. Sometimes I feel like every time some one asks me "how are you" I respond with a "tired".
On another note, my camera is now broken. Somewhere between the 1 1/2 year old who wants to play with it and the abuse over 3 years of daily use, it has died and gone to camera heaven. So I'll post more pictures when we get a new one. Since I have no new pictures, here's one to remind me of the "Sleepless Year" of my life.......Joel at 1 month. I really should appreciate that I can now sleep through the night!

Lost and Found Lucy

Yesterday Lucy (our beagle) got out of the fence 3 times. The fence here in Hays has had a hole in in and the pastor of the Nazarene church fixed it. (For those of you who don't know, we are living in the old church parsonage here in Hays while they try to sell it....we are so blessed to be able to do this the 2nd summer in a row!!). So Lucy had been having to be tied up with a stake and rope cord, but since the fence was fixed, she was out free that morning. I took Joel to the park to play, like we do every morning and when we got back, Lucy was gone.
About 5 minutes later though, there she was scratching at the door. I told her she was a bad dog and bopped her on the nose....and of course, Joel did the same. Then that afternoon when Lucy wanted to go out, I put her on the cord in the fence. Well, I came out a little later to find her gone...again. Somehow her collar had come off and she was again free. But she still wasn't far...so again we had her back. Third times a charm right? Justin, Joel, and I went to the free family pool night after dinner and so Lucy went back on the cord. I figured surely she had learned her lesson. I had scolded her pretty hard after the last time. But nope, she was gone. Some neighbor (we live next to some pretty run down apartments that are lived in my some college students...or at least mostly that age) had been "nice" enough to leave us a note (written in handwriting worse than most of my students) that said "get a better collar for your dog". Well, thank you...I would but I don't know where she is............lovely. A little side note of "she went east" would have been nice. Anyway, I put Joel to bed and Justin had to go to a study group for his classes. I didn't know what else to do so finally at around 9, I called animal control. And guess what? Lucy was there at the police department!! The policeman brought her home and didn't give me a citation since I explained that we were city folks just here for a month. He also told me that it was really funny because Lucy had showed up at the animal control officer's house. Yup, his house. So, Lucy was home. I gave her lots of love this time...no scolding. Even though she has eaten 4 pairs of my shoes and now has run away, we still love our dog. This morning, I felt like God was reminding me that I am not all that far from Lucy's story....
"I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands."
Psalm 119:175-176
"My people have been lost sheep; their shepherds have led them astray and caused them to roam on the mountains. They wandered over mountain and hill and forgot their own resting place.Jeremiah 50:5-7
And this is God's promise to me...despite my wanderings and chewings:
"I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice.
Ezekiel 34:15-17

Thank goodness that no matter how many times I get out of the fence, He loves me... and gives me extra loving when I return.

Happy Fourth!

Kiss my Cellulite

Justin, Joel and I are here in the land of Hays for the month of July. Justin is finishing his masters and Joel and I play all day. Hays doesn't have much in comparison to KC, but they do have one really awesome pool. So that brings me to my topic. Cellulite. I hate it, but I can't get rid of it. And I've had it forever. I remember being in Jr. High and being self-conscious of my dimpled marshmallow thighs. My mom has told me forever...that it wasn't until I was born that she realized that there was really nothing she could ever do about her thighs....and I inherited them. But one thing I never want to be is that mom who refuses to go to the pool and play with her kids because of "how I look in my suit".
I usually try to find a pair of cute shorts to go over my swim suit bottoms but this year I bought a new suit and have not found the shorts yet. I decided "what the heck" and took my son to have fun at the pool and thought "who cares, everyone has cellulite". But the truth is, not everyone does. As I was at the pool playing with Joel, I noticed that there were women twice my size with not a dimple on them...and ones even skinnier than me with more cellulite than myself. At 120 pounds, I am completely happy with my size...but would love to get rid of the cottage cheese.

Wikipedia says this: Cellulite is not related to being overweight; average and underweight people also get cellulite.^[1] However, diet factors (see below) that contribute to cellulite can also contribute to becoming overweight. Several genetic factors have been shown to be necessary for cellulite to develop. Gender, race, biotype,^[3] a hormone receptor allele that determines the receptor number and sensitivity, distribution of subcutaneous fat, and predisposition to circulatory insufficiency have all been shown to contribute to cellulite.^[1]Diet has been shown to affect the development and amount of cellulite. Excessive amounts of fat, carbohydrates, salt, or too little fiber can all contribute to an increased cellulite.^[1] Smoking, lack of exercise, fatty/starchy foods, and sitting or standing in a single position for long periods have all been correlated with an increase in cellulite. A high stress lifestyle will cause an increase in the catecholamine hormones. ^[1]

So there you have it......I have to stop eating, sitting, and standing, and worrying...and then I will have the perfect backside.

I also found this: http://skinnycelebnews.blogspot.com
/2007/06/celebs-who-beat-cellulite-i-dont-think.
html and if I had a million dollars, I might be able to beat cellulite. But in the meantime, you may have to see my dimpled backside a time or two.
Well, I guess I'll have to go look for some new shorts......

Sleepy Sesame Street

We've been so busy lately. This week started out with Justin's parents visiting, then I have been working afternoons planning with my new coworker, and it will end with our move to Hays, KS for the month of July. Yesterday, Joel actually slept in until almost 9:00. It was great. It made me miss days of old when I used to sleep in until after 10!
Sometimes when Joel wakes up really early, I feed him breakfast and then resort to laying on the couch and letting him play and watch Sesame Street. Is that terrible? I feel guilty sometimes...hopefully, I'm not making him accustomed to a life of TV addiction or causing ADHD like all the experts say. On that note...I think I'm headed to the couch for a little nap.

Miracles

A picture of my miracles.

This was an e-mail I got today after receiving a few text messages from my best friend Lori:

I went into preterm labor on Sunday, June 8. I was 31 weeks along. We were flown to Denver and I was able to "stay pregnant" for 6 more days. Lucas Reid Raile arrived June 14 at 11:11pm at Presbyterian/St.Lukes in Denver. He weighed 3 lbs 2 oz. and was 16.75 inches. He didn't tolerate labor well at all and after several scary hours he was delivered by emergency c-setion. It was quite a day for all of us.
I am currently still in the hospital recovering and Lucas is in the Neonatal ICU. We are both doing well. He is on a ventilator but the doctors are hopeful that will be able to be removed soon. He is going to be fed via a feeding tube starting tomorrow. He is a precious little guy who already has quite a personality. He has tons of really dark hair and beautiful blue eyes. We are already so in love with him. We haven't been able to hold him yet but he will hold onto our fingers tightly.

So when I first found out about this, I noticed that the first text message that I still had in my inbox was from Lori about what she thought then was a miscarriage.
Just to catch you all up...Lori had a really hard time getting pregnant with this little miracle. They went to an infertility doctor, Clomid...the whole bit. She called me a few days before Christmas, after the doctors told her they thought she was having a miscarriage due to decreasing HCG levels. It broke my heart. Justin and I went through a very early miscarriage (undoubtedly the hardest thing in my life despite the earliness of it) just a little over a month before Joel was conceived. But this was not to be the story for Lori.....the HCG levels rose and finally they were high enough to be seen on ultrasound. On Christmas eve, while I was at my in-laws' church in Ohio, Lori called to let me know that there was indeed still a baby and they weren't miscarrying! Oh, what a Christmas present that was! It just reminded me what a miracle this child already is. There are only a few friends who truly cry when you cry and rejoice when you rejoice and Lori is totally that person for me. Today I was doing both, crying and rejoicing for her.

Romans 12:10-
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor;

not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord;

rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer,

contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.

Birdies

Joel and I go for at least one walk every day. Usually we walk to the park so that he can play and run off some energy and then I can get somewhat of a workout on the way there and back. He always calls out the things that he sees. Today we saw a bunny, a squirrel, a duck, and some birds. His personal favorites are birds, which he affectionately calls "boobies". Which is great when other people are walking past us and my son is yelling " BOOBIES" with a big smile on his face. I keep correcting him with "birdies" but it doesn't seem to matter. He also calls blueberries, "boo boobies". It's funny that he can say words like "Play" and "Uncle Josh" and even "Joel" so clearly, but he can't say birdies. Ah,well. The next time you see a child scream something like that, just smile and think of me....red faced in back of a stroller.

Answered Prayers

This weekend Justin, Joel and I went to St. Louis to see Josh's new baby, Keagan and to visit the St. Louis Zoo. It was a great quick trip. Doesn't Josh look so proud? The baby was perfect. He had a little jaundice, and some fluid in his lungs so they kept him for a few more days, but other than that...he is perfect. It has been a journey. Looking back over the last 18 months of Joel's life, I still remember the moment that they laid Joel on my chest. I remember being completely overwhelmed with joy. At that moment, I knew that God truly answered prayers in the biggest way. Saturday was another one of those days.

Psalm 100: 1-5

A psalm. For giving thanks.

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.

Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his ;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.

For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generation.

Here are some pictures of our trip:


Joel playing in the fountains at the zoo.

Cooling off!

Uncle Josh, Justin, and Joel.
Happy and Hot!

Politics and Prayer

Today is a sad day that should be a great day. Justin's brother Josh's soon to be ex-wife is in labor as I write with their son. And Josh can't be there. Are there no rights for fathers? It seems that there are some but there is so much red tape that you have to cross first that most fathers would just lose hope and give up. Justin's mom reminded us this morning that God is in control even in the worst circumstances. I definitely believe that, but it seems in my own life there have been so many instances where the "bad guy" wins that it becomes discouraging. So I ask for your prayers. I can't imagine being in this circumstance...on either side. Joel's birth was such a joyous, bonding time for Justin and I. Most importantly, my prayer is that God will take care of this baby, that he will be healthy and that Amy will realize that this baby needs two loving parents despite her feelings.

This is what I read today in 1 Thes. 5:12- 18 that goes along perfectly with the circumstances:

"Final Instructions: Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

I especially love the part about not paying back wrong for wrong. So I guess the best thing to do today is to just pray and give thanks, no matter what the politics.

The Dream Giver

So, yes, I have now given in to the world of blogging. It all seems kind of odd...like letting someone read my personal journal. But I keep faithfully reading all of my friends blogs....including my husband's........and even tend to read even a stranger's blog (yes, I'm pathetic, but it's so sad...http://www.mattlogelin.com/) so I decided it was just time to get my own.

Anyway, today was day 3 of my first real week of Summer. Last week I had summer conference and earned 2 grad credits so Justin had baby duty. Joel has so much energy and finding things to keep him busy is definitely challenging. He's so much fun though, and I love to make him laugh. Yesterday we went to the park, to Deanna Rose (great place for kids by the way), and played in the little pool that Justin bought for our backyard. Today went like this: Sesame Street and breakfast, colored, went to the park and on a walk, lunch, naptime and a haircut for me, pool time in the backyard, dinner, bathtime, walk (ride for Joel), and bedtime. Seems so simple but yet, so tiring. I keep meaning to write down the things that he says...but he says so much that I just don't get them down. Maybe tomorrow I will add a list of the words that he says...it will be long.

Yesterday, I read Bruce Wilkinson's book "The DreamGiver". It's pretty good and I like the metaphor usage of the "Ordinary" becoming a "Somebody". What it really made me think though is that it's not really the book for me. I feel like I have my dream..maybe not all of it, but I do think that I am doing exactly what I have always dreamed of: being a wife, a mom, and a teacher. I am not always content with life, but I don't feel like there is something huge out there that I haven't gotten to do that I've always wanted. Does that make me a non-dreamer? Or just someone who is "living the dream"? Not sure I would have described my life as that, but maybe I should. Our small group is doing this cool accountability thing and I have not been doing a very good job of keeping up. My goal is to spend time in the word and journal every day...a very attainable goal, but with a toddler it seems really hard! I'm starting Beth Moore's Heart Like His study. I'm hoping it's good!